Running Advice Sarcasm

A very long time ago I had the misfortune of asking various "runners" questions about "running" and got some very interesting answers. I use the quotes here to emphasize that most of the stuff I got was pretty worthless in the big scheme of things. In fact, you would have to consider them to be sarcasm.

I wrote a slightly tongue in cheek article as a result "7 Reasons I'm Not a Runner" HERE.

Trail Running in Las Vegas NV
Here's an example of how that works. I had been running at about a 10:00 pace for quite a while and decided I needed to become faster. I read up a little bit from the various training programs you can download off the 'net, and tried some intervals. At the time I was still in "normal" running shoes and hitting with my heel pretty solidly and overreaching severely. After a few weeks of that I realized that any level of interval or sprint running required about a week of recovery before I could run again at any level or speed.

Frustrated I asked my "Runner" friends for suggestions. Here are the two most common responses:

  1. Run faster
  2. Do 440 repeats on the track at 60 seconds or less per lap followed by a 2:00 jog back to the start to cool down and rest between laps.
The first was less than helpful. Go faster, wow, what an idea. The second was hilarious, since I couldn't do a 2:00 quarter mile at my full-out sprinting speed, passing out at the completion of the lap. I kid you not, the answers all fell into those two categories. I discovered on my own about a year later that I needed to lift my heel with my hamstrings, lift my knee with my flexors, slap the ground more mid-foot with less heel lift in the shoe, stay over my feet, and get a faster cadence.

Skyrunning - the Manitou Incline near Colorado Springs

I have also spent quite a while doing Anaerobic Threshold Training HERE which is a protocol for training in which you try to extend the amount of time you can spend just under a near-maximum heart rate to increase your speed and endurance. It's tough, and training like that lets you laugh at those who thrash on "Steady State Cardio" since holding your heart rate at 95-98% for an hour is certainly a Steady State of Cardio.

More Running Sarcasm:


I once posted a skyrunning stat on Facebook. Skyrunning is an extreme event with steep vertical on rough surfaces including rock and snow and ice, sometimes in a blizzard. Here's the stats from the Manitou Incline, my first attempt. The straight line in the map is my ascent and the zig zag line is the descent via the Barr Trail, which goes the other direction 13 miles to the summit of Pikes Peak.


A pace of 38:00 doesn't seem like it, but it's running on steep terrain like this. I have posted stats from lesser grades (this is about 50% grade average with sections nearing 100% grade), like 15:00 pace on a 15% grade. My "Runner" friends scoff and say "I can walk that". In fact, I posted one in the 12:00 range and had someone say that they could have walked that slow on the route. Sarcasm, I'm sure.

Real Running Advice


The bottom line is that asking a "Runner" for advice about "Running" might not be all that productive if you don't fall into the range of "normal" which might not be someone who runs for training. If you need some solid real information on improving your running or setting appropriate goals, comment below and I'll see if I can offer something positive for you.